Class Reflection

I signed up for this class only because I had to; not because I like writing or waking up for an 8am class. Coming in I wasn't sure what to expect. I knew from friends that GWRTC 103 wasn't a impossible class and that it was somewhat easy to do well. I also had the idea coming in that I wasn't really going to enjoy it; I didn't really like writing. It wasn't that I just didn't like doing it, it didn't come naturally for me. Whenever I wrote good papers I either sat down, made an outline and had a clear organization for my paper and just filled it in. Or sometimes I would just procrastinate and throw down some information and opinions and get an A on the assignment. So I guess I just had lack of consistency in my writing.

This class helped me a lot. I learned more techniques and strategies to help my writing and make it more effective. In this class we studied arguments, but what we learned about commas, sources, credibility, acknowledgment and response, and the rhetorical appeals can be used it a lot of papers. I liked that we learned three different ways to argue; I liked the narrative the best and rebuttal the least. I think a narrative was one of the best ways to prove a point and give emotion and credibility. I also used narrative elements in my Rogerian argument and I think that also made it effective.

In this class I learned how to better incorporate my research and make it help my paper rather than distract the reader. I also really liked the assignments we had in this class, they were all very interesting.

But most of all, I learned a process of writing. I learned that in some papers I would kind of had like 5 drafts and 5 phases or work. I learned that the more and more you revise and reread the better your paper will be. I learned how to reread my paper, how to edit it, and when things need to be changed. I think this class taught me that writing is a process and sometimes when I didn't feel so great at it was because I would only write one draft. I also really appreciated the workshops. Every assignment I wanted my paper to be workshoped. I learned that now I can just email my papers to someone to get their feedback. Getting others feedback clarifies so much because most of the time my sentences made perfect sense to me but someone else wouldn't understand them.

Overall I got so much more out of this class than I was expecting and learned how to be a better writer and reader; two things that will help me throughout the rest of my career.

Reflection 3.2

In my second draft I feel like I didn't change much. I'm kind of stumped on what to change. I didn't feel like I got really any helpful advice on what to do next. I know that Bryan wanted more sensory details which I agreed with. I added a few things to the "clips" of my life lol. And also to have more of my own voice. I took out a source I didn't really like that much. And kind of worked to get my argument across better- overall I want to argue: that if done correctly with a lot of support and communication divorce can turn out okay. In the beginning I kind of wanted to argue that maybe divorcing when the kids were very young or that divorcing in general was the best thing. And I kind of realized that that's not really true.

In my next draft I definitely want to make more changes but, I'm not really sure where. I know I maybe want to add another story and of course, work on better organization.

Essay 3.2 Divorce: Turning Lemons into Lemonade

Every year since I was three, I got to rip open presents under the Christmas tree and dump out my stocking to see all of the candy and nail polish twice, at two different houses. Compared to my friends, I received double the presents and seemed quite spoiled. But, really this was only due to the fact that my parents were divorced. Christmas and Easter morning seemed that much more exciting because when my little half-sister was done opening presents, I would go over my Dad’s house and open another set of gifts from Santa or another Easter basket from the Easter bunny. I would often ask Mom and Dad for the same items, for example I had two “Baby Born” dolls and was envied by all of my friends. It might sound as if I was quite the manipulator, but hey, might as well milk it for what it was worth. Divorce is known to have a negative impact on children and my parents knew this; they wanted me to be happy in this less than optimal situation. Divorce has played such a major role in my life; I am a product of divorce.

My parents divorced in 1994, when I was only three. My mom, the hair salon owner, explained it to me as “Daddy likes to play golf and mommy likes to cut hair.” This simple explanation was enough to satisfy my questions on why we were moving in to our own apartment. My mom always talked me through any concerns I had and made it somewhat of a positive situation. I would ask the occasional question on when I was going to see my Dad, but I never was distressed or truly concerned with the situation. It was just something I grew up with.

Divorce is becoming more and more popular. According to Divorce Statistics, about 50% of marriages will end up in divorce. They also state that 40% of divorces involve children. (Divorce Statistics). My health teacher also mentioned that often couples will separate but not go through with all of the hassles of a legal divorce; so this number could be even higher that we think. But, this statistic shows divorce is a major issue and concern in our nation and will affect many children.

Many couples will try to stick it out and stay together for the kids, but I think this often causes more stress because the children are forced to witness arguments and tension within the marriage. According to Christina McGhee, an author and speaker on divorce and educating parents, “One of parent’s greatest concerns is how divorce will affect their children.” (Divorce and Children). When children are involved, it will often ultimately affect whether or not the couple will separate. My parents have both told me that they didn’t want to put me through the stress of their differences. So, my parents had a different view than most couples do, they thought the divorce would be better in the long run.

For me, my parents were very friendly and communicated with each other almost everyday. They made decisions together and both talked to me about the separation very often. I also think the reason I think I “turned out fine” was because my parents didn’t have a “nasty” divorce at all. It was a mutual decision that they thought would be most beneficial for me.

I never asked the devastating question, “was this my fault?” my parents always reinforced that it had nothing to do with me and kind of made it seem like not a big deal. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen first hand in my friends how much of a challenge it can be to cope with parents’ divorce. In an article titled “The Effects of Divorce on Children”, Lesley Foulkes-Jamison, Ph.D discusses the different cognitive abilities of children at different ages and how they react to divorces at different stages of life. She states, “Parents' sensitivity to their child's needs is one of the most important factors in facilitating adjustment. Other factors such as the child's age, gender and temperament will also influence how well the child adjusts” (Foulkes-Jamison, p. 2). My parents knew how tough this could be on me and gave me a lot of support. I just grew up with the mentality that they just weren’t meant for each other. I think that if it’s truly not going to work out divorce can be the best option if support and a lot of communication are given to the children.

Although I didn’t really struggle with my parents’ divorce, some aspects of it still affected me. When I was 5 or 6 my mom was dating my now stepfather. He was also divorced and had two daughters. My mom decided that it would be great to meet them because we were all within two years of each other. But the thing was, up to that point I was an only child; I received all of my parent’s attention and was basically spoiled rotten. So, when my stepsisters came over for the first time my mom suggested I go show them my room. When they started touching my Pink Barbie Dreamhouse and all of my perfectly dressed dolls, I threw a temper tantrum and had a total meltdown. I think I realized that these weren’t just friends coming over to play, but they were girls who my Mom seemed to truly care about. I was definitely jealous and not a good sharer. My mom then took control and calmed me down. She made me realize how cool it would be to have new sisters, or at that point, just new friends. This was definitely an obstacle I had to overcome. Now looking back, my stepsisters are basically my real sisters. I think this is evidence that yes, some things did affect me but I was able to adjust. I think most kids can adjust to these changes and grow into healthy adults with the proper support.

Both of my parents remarried which means I got double the parents, double the grandparents and double the aunts and uncles. In The Journal of Divorce and Remarriage, Brian Higginbotham, Linda Skogrand, and Eliza Torres published a journal titled: Stepfamily Education: Perceived Benefits for Children. This study looked at step families and the effects they have on the children and the marriage. The researchers state, “The presence of children from a previous relationship makes new family relationships more complex.” (Stepfamily Education). When I reacted negatively to my future stepsisters it truly worried my Mom. She didn’t know if her remarrying was selfish and it affected the course of her and my stepfather’s relationship. Now looking back, I definitely warmed up to the situation after a few weeks because of the way my mom handled this hurdle. I think when parents don’t acknowledge the child’s potential troubles with these changes and don’t address them, that’s when emotional problems can arise.

But now, as an ‘adult’, I think my parent’s divorce definitely turned out for the best. Instead of seeing one suffering marriage, I saw two successful marriages. I also got two new stepparents, which I consider my real parents. Out of this situation I also got a total of four sisters (two step and two half) who are all my best friends. I would argue that if done in the right way, and with a lot of support and communication, divorce can be the best option for a failing marriage. I think my parents handled this situation the best way they could, which caused me to come out of it believing in marriage and relationships with no emotional problems from the divorce. Not only did I receive double the presents on holidays, I also got double the family and double the love.



Works Cited

Divorce Statistics. Divorce Magazine. Web. 13 April 2010.

Foulkes-Jamison, Lesely. “Effects of Divorce on Children.” Gainesville Family Magazine. 1 Jan. 2001. Web. 13 April 2010.

Higginbotham, Brian, Linda Skogrand and Eliza Torres. “Stepfamily Education: Perceived Benefits for Children”. Journal of Divorce and Remarriage 3:51 (2010). 36-49, Web. 13 April 2010.

McGhee, Christina. Divorce and Children. 2009. Web. 14 April 2010.

Reflection 3.1

In my first draft I feel I was somewhat productive compared to my other two first drafts. But, as always I just kinda saying what I had to thought and it wasn't very organized. In my next draft I want to:

-work on organization
-add more personal stories (sensory details)
-work on clarifying what I'm trying to argue
-strong conclusion

I'm also feeling kind of confused on what I'm arguing. I want to re-evaluate my views and claims. I want to be clear on my points and what I'm trying to say.

Sentence Variety

My parents divorced in 1994, when I was only three. (S) SIMPLE My mom, the hair salon owner, explained it to me as “Daddy likes to play golf and mommy likes to cut hair.” (L) COMPOUND This simple explanation was enough to satisfy my questions on why we were moving in to our own apartment. (M)SIMPLE I would ask the occasional question on when I was going to see my Dad, but I never was distressed or truly concerned with the situation. (L) COMPLEX It was just something I grew up with. (S)-SIMPLE

Essay 3.1 Postive Outcomes of Divorce

Every Christmas since I was three, I got to open presents under the tree at two different houses. Compared to my friends, I received double the presents and seemed quite spoiled. But, really this was only due to the fact that my parents were divorced. Christmas and Easter morning seemed that much more exciting because when my little half-sister was done opening presents, I would go over my Dad’s house and open another set of gifts from Santa. I would often ask Mom and Dad for the same items, for example I had two “Baby Born” dolls and was envied by all of my friends. It might sound as if I was quite the manipulator, but hey, might as well milk it for what it was worth. Divorce is known to have a negative impact on children and my parents knew this; they wanted me to be happy in this less than optimal situation. Divorce has played such a major role in my life; I am a product of divorce.

My parents divorced in 1994, when I was only three. My mom, the hair salon owner, explained it to me as “Daddy likes to play golf and mommy likes to cut hair.” This simple explanation was enough to satisfy my questions on why we were moving in to our own apartment. I would ask the occasional question on when I was going to see my Dad, but I never was distressed or truly concerned with the situation. It was just something I grew up with.

Divorce is becoming more and more popular. According to Divorce Statistics, about 50% of marriages will end up in divorce. They also state that 40% of divorces involve children. (Divorce Statistics). My health teacher also mentioned that often couples will separate but not go through with all of the hassles of a legal divorce; so this number could be even higher that we think. But, this statistic shows divorce is a major issue and concern in our nation and will affect many children.

Many couples will try to stick it out and stay together for the kids, but I think this often causes more stress because the children are forced to witness arguments and tension within the marriage. According to Christina McGhee, an author and speaker on divorce and educating parents, “One of parent’s greatest concerns is how divorce will affect their children.” (Divorce and Children). When children are involved, it will often affect whether or not the couple separates.

In an article that appeared on HelpGuide titled “Children and Divorce: Helping Your Kids Cope with the Effects of Separation and Divorce”, by Gina Kemp, Rosemary Clandos, Jeanne Segaul, “Many kids feel angry, sad and frustrated about the prospect of their parents splitting up for good and are uncertain about what life will be like after divorce” (Children and Divorce, p. 1). According to this article, it emphasizes the importance of support and communication to help the kids deal with this major change. For me, my parents were very friendly and communicated with each other almost everyday. They made decisions together and both talked to me about the separation very often. I also think the reason I think I “turned out fine” was because my parents didn’t have a “nasty” divorce at all. It was a mutual decision that they thought would be most beneficial for me.

I never asked the devastating question, “was this my fault?” my parents always reinforced that it had nothing to do with me and kind of made it seem like not a big deal. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen first hand in my friends how much of a challenge it can be to cope with parents’ divorce. In an article titled “The Effects of Divorce on Children”, Lesley Foulkes-Jamison, Ph.D discusses the different cognitive abilities of children at different ages and how they react to divorces at different stages of life. She states, “Parents' sensitivity to their child's needs is one of the most important factors in facilitating adjustment. Other factors such as the child's age, gender and temperament will also influence how well the child adjusts” (Foulkes-Jamison, p. 2). My parents knew how tough this could be on me and gave me a lot of support. I just grew up with the mentality that they just weren’t meant for each other. I think that if it’s truly not going to work out divorce can be the best option if support and a lot of communication are given to the children.

Although I didn’t really struggle with my parents’ divorce, some aspects of it still affected me. When I was 5 or 6 my mom was dating my now stepfather. He was also divorced and had two daughters. My mom decided that it would be great to meet them because we were all within two years of each other. But the thing was, up to that point I was an only child; I received all of my parent’s attention and was basically spoiled rotten. So, when my stepsisters came over for the first time my mom suggested we go into my room and play with my Barbies and other toys. When they started playing with my things I freaked out and had a total meltdown. I think I realized that these weren’t just friends coming over to play, but they were girls who my Mom seemed to truly care about. I was definitely jealous and not a good sharer. This was definitely an obstacle I had to overcome. Now looking back, my stepsisters are basically my real sisters. I think this is evidence that yes, some things did affect me but I was able to adjust. I think most kids can adjust to these changes and grow into healthy adults with the proper support.

Both of my parents remarried which means I got double the parents. In The Journal of Divorce and Remarriage, Brian Higginbotham, Linda Skogrand, and Eliza Torres published a journal titled: Stepfamily Education: Perceived Benefits for Children. This study looked at step families and the effects they have on the children and the marriage. The researchers state, “The presence of children from a previous relationship makes new family relationships more complex.” (Stepfamily Education). When I reacted negatively to my future stepsisters it truly worried my Mom. She didn’t know if her remarrying was selfish and affected the course of her and my stepfather’s relationship. Now looking back, I definitely warmed up to the situation after a few weeks but some children don’t adjust and cause more problems.

But now, as an ‘adult’, I think my parent’s divorce definitely turned out for the best. Instead of seeing one suffering marriage, I saw two successful marriages. I also got two new stepparents, which I consider my real parents. Out of this situation I also got a total of four sisters (two step and two half) who are all my best friends. I would argue that if done in the right way, divorce can be the best option for a failing marriage. I think my parents handled this situation the best way they could, which caused me to come out of it believing in marriage and relationships with no emotional problems from the divorce. Not only did I receive double the presents on holidays, I also got double the family and double the love.



Works Cited

Divorce Statistics. Divorce Magazine. Web. 13 April 2010.

Foulkes-Jamison, Lesely. “Effects of Divorce on Children.” Gainesville Family Magazine. 1 Jan. 2001. Web. 13 April 2010.

Higginbotham, Brian, Linda Skogrand and Eliza Torres. “Stepfamily Education:
Perceived Benefits for Children”. Journal of Divorce and Remarriage 3:51 (2010). 36-49, Web. 13 April 2010.

Kemp, Gina Rosemary Clandos and Jeanne Segal. “Children and Divorce: Helping your kids cope with the effects of separation and divorce.” Helpguide. January 2009. Web. 15 April 2010.

McGhee, Christina. Divorce and Children. 2009. Web. 14 April 2010.

Rogerian Reflection

I actually really enjoyed writing this paper. I think it was because I picked a topic that I was really passionate about, and truly having this debate in my own head. I think after doing the research and learning more about both sides I honestly did learn a compromise for the situation and that accreditation for these facilities that make money off of the animals needs to be pushed. I also came to the conclusion that I'm not going to be supporting a circus again.

I feel like it was helpful to have the Rogerian structure and to state both sides in a clear way. I think it helped ultimately shape my paper and make it clear and easy to understand. Before I actually implemented this structure the paper said what I needed it to, but not in an effective way.

Overall, I really enjoyed this paper. It was different from what I had written before and I think I learned more about having Rogerian qualities and different methods of argument/persuasion.