Over the years, I have grown up as a complete animal lover. Like most kids, I was always excited to go to the zoo and watch all different types of animals in their natural habitats. Little did I know, these are not their natural habitats at all. I’ve begun to rethink whether zoos, aquariums or circuses are a good thing or not. There has been much debate concerning whether or not these places are ethical and in the best interest of the animals.
These places to see animals are considered to be magical and educational entertainment. For my family, going to the zoo was one of the most fun things we could do. Learning about the different types of fish at the aquarium and watching the giraffes eat from the trees was the highlight of my year. These experiences gave me an appreciation for animals, going to these places to learn more about animals is what made me an animal lover.
Having the opportunity to see wild animals in real life will have much more of an impact towards the education than will reading about them in a book. Only a select few children are privileged enough to actually go scuba diving or on an African Safari, zoos and aquariums provide easy access for everyone to witness these amazing animals.
Endangered species are often saved by human intervention. Humans can help save species in captivity by breeding and prolonging lives through medical care. Michael Hutchins, PhD, director and William Conway Chair of the Department of Conservation and Science for the American Zoo and Aquarium Association states, “The primary benefits zoos provide to society are education and conservation of species and habitats” (Journal of the American Veterinary Medical Association). I agree, there are many benefits to these organizations but many don’t meet humane standards. Hutchins says less than 10% of animal exhibitors meet the Association of Zoos and Aquariums accreditation. The major zoos and aquariums throughout the United States provide safe environments for wild animals with proper care, but many do not.
On February 24th 2010, Tilikum, the great orca whale murdered his second trainer at Sea World in Orlando, Florida. This would make be Tilikum’s third fatal attack, the third being a man who snuck into the aquarium to swim in the tank (his death was mostly attributed to drowning and hyperthermia). According to an article in Time, Tilikum grabbed his trainer, Brancheau, by her ponytail and dragged her to the bottom of the pool where she drowned (Chua- Eoan). This brings up the question, were these attacks acts of revenge on the trainers? I think it’s shocking that after this whales’ first murder, he was still expected to perform.
These amazingly intelligent animals are captured and put into tanks that would be proportional to a human living in a bathtub. Orca whales swim up to 100 miles a day in the wild and are imprisoned in confining tanks (PETA). Sea World trains whales and dolphins to do tricks such as jumping through hoops, swimming with the trainers and of course, splashing the audience. As a kid, I always left the aquarium in awe of the talent and intelligence of the mammals in these performances. But now I know these tricks and moves are not natural for these animals at all. According to Peta, they are trained by, “withholding food and isolating animals who refuse to perform” (PETA). I don’t think anyone would argue that these tactics are ethical to wild animals.
Many zoos don’t show natural behaviors or natural interactions, we only see trainers handling and feeding the animals. Many zoos and aquariums shouldn’t be applauded for teaching about wild animals; rather, they should only be given credit for showing how some animals are capable of adapting to such a drastic change. Think about the natural habitat of a polar bear; the very cold Arctic Circle, yet there are polar bear exhibits in zoos all over the world, often no where near their natural climate. And I’m sure there aren’t hundreds of people passing by and tapping on the glass in the wild either. Animals in captivity aren’t the same animal they would be in the wild; often these creatures are living a life that nature didn’t intend for them.
Have you ever thought about where these animals often come from? Many are taken from their natural habitats; The Humane Society of the United States believes that the process of capturing wild animals often causes suffering the moment they are taken. When wild dolphins are taken from the ocean, “they are ripped violently and traumatically from their social units” (Humane Society). Often time’s dolphins are fished and either slaughtered or sold to be in such shows. Animals were made to live in the wild, not wherever humans want them to.
Circuses have one of the worst reputations for animal cruelty. When I was 6, I had a Ringley Brothers Circus shirt that I tried to wear as much as I could until it became so worn out that it began to tear. I understand the lure and excitement as a child to see the elephants and tigers do amazing tricks. But, the truth isn’t as glamorous as we are made to believe. The Humane Society states, “The methods used to train these animals are often abusive, and they may be chained or confined for hours on end” (Humane Society). Circuses travel all year round all over the world. Elephants, lions and monkeys are put in small cages and taken from town to town. These animals are often not given proper care and don’t have access to basic necessities while traveling. The animals are only released from their cages in order to perform, and when performing they are sometimes leashed and shackled.
The temperatures and climates these animals experience are definitely not what they would experience in a natural setting. According to PETA, “A young lion named Clyde died in a sweltering boxcar as a Ringling Bros. train crossed the Mojave Desert on a day when temperatures exceeded 100°F” (PETA). There have been many other preventable fatalities of circus animals because lack of veterinary care and basic necessities for survival while on the road.
Not only do these animals experience tough travel and living conditions, the process of training them is very disturbing. The most common method of training is physical punishment, often by hitting, electric shock, and whipping. Many shocking videos have been shot showing the pain and suffering these animals are put through. PETA states:
Video footage shot during a PETA undercover investigation of Carson & Barnes Circus revealed Carson & Barnes’ animal care director, Tim Frisco, viciously attacking, yelling, and cursing at and shocking endangered Asian elephants. Frisco instructed other elephant trainers to beat the elephants with a bullhook as hard as they could and to sink the sharp metal bullhook into the animals’ flesh and twist it until they screamed in pain. The videotape also showed a handler using a blowtorch to remove elephants’ hair and chained elephants and caged bears exhibiting stereotypic behaviors caused by mental distress.
This is a very disturbing account of circus animals being exploited and abused for our entertainment. But, this is a very common occurrence in circuses all over the world.
I don’t think these programs should be done away with, but I think something needs to be done to enforce the accreditation of all zoos and aquariums. I also think animals such as Tilikum who have not adapted very well, should still be held in captivity. There are other options for him such as sanctuaries where he can live in a normal environment with other whales. I also think there should be more emphasis on the Internet to see videos of wild animals. There are other options to learn about these creatures, technology has come so far. But, I think everyone can agree that circuses need the biggest intervention. There needs to be a conscientious effort to help the animals that suffer daily, circuses that raven all over the world should not be allowed to have animals in their shows, I think this issue needs to be discussed in order for a change to take place for these circus animals. I understand the benefits zoos, aquariums and circus bring but we can’t put the lives of these majestic animals on the line for a profit.
Works Cited
Chua-Eoan, Howard. “The Killer-Whale Attack at SeaWorld: How It Happened.” U.S. 25 February 2010. New York Times. Web. 14 March 2010.
Ellis, Richard. “Sea World Killer Whale Attack.” 25 February 2010. Washington Post. Web. 13 March 2010.
The Humane Society. The Humane Soceity of the United States. 2010. Web. 14 March 2010.
Kuehn, Bridget. “Is it ethical to keep animals in zoos?” Journal of the American Veterinary Medical Association. (2002). n. pag. Web. 14 March 2
PETA. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. 2010. Web. 13 March 2010.
Dear Danielle,
ReplyDeleteI thought this paper was so great and I loved the topic! When I began reading your paper I was a bit confused of what your stance was and then as I continued I began to realize that you feel like using animals for entertainment should be looked down upon and limited. I think it would help your paper if you added your point of view very clearly in the first paragraph so the reader understands. Besides possibly needing a few additional sources from the other side of the argument, I thought your paper was great. I only found a few minor issues because the major components seemed to be great. I would suggest checking for run-ons and fragments by reading the paper out loud to yourself. I also think you should soften the way you approach the other side because now it seems a bit blunt for a Rogerian argument, but your points are great! I thought the credibility of your sources were great and really effective because everyone knows of the Humane Society and the newest happening in February. I would just like to remind you to alphabetize your work cited page and to place page numbers in your in-text citations. I really enjoyed your paper. Good luck with your next draft!
Thank you,
Katelyn Bell
Dear Danielle,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading about this topic and found it very interesting! I can't believe how zoo's and circus's treat their animals in order to train them!
One thing I would suggest is maybe state earlier on what your view of the subject is. I couldn't really tell till later on in the paper.
Also, I only see 1 or 2 paragraphs where you talked about the opposite side. I would maybe find some more information on it and put it into your paper. Great job so far and good luck on your final draft!
Hannah
Dear Danielle,
ReplyDeleteI really liked your topic and I thought it was interesting and something that I wouldn't think about on a regular basis. I like the attention that you're bringing to your points and you did a really good job of stating your point of view and why you feel that way.
In the beginning of your paper I thought you did an excellent job with keeping to the true rogerian style in your paper. I really liked how you put a personal touch onto your argument and how your views have changed about this topic as you gain more knowledge and understanding about the real issue. You made some great points about how you agree that Zoo's and all are important for education purposes, but your overall love for animals is what's driving you to protest these institutions. You also did a good job with putting a lot of pathos into your paper and I think that's what really influenced me to take your side on this issue.
The only thing I can really suggest you 'fix' for your next draft would be to put more info on the pro-zoo side of this issue. I know you mentioned that you love going to them and you think they're good for education but I was waiting to see more on that side of the argument but it never really came.
Overall, you have a really good paper and I wish you the best of luck on your next draft!
Kara
Dear Danielle,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading this essay! It is obviously not a topic we hear about everyday, and I love the fact that you are bringing attention to this cause. I was a little bit confused at first about what side of the argument you were supporting, but after reading a little bit further, I realized that you believe that keeping animals in captivity should be looked over and limited. I have to agree with you! I really like how you used your personal story throughout the entire paper, it really kept things interesting for the reader because of the personal touch! I would suggest maybe finding a little bit more common ground in the paper, and maybe showing the side of the people who believe zoos and keeping animals in captivity is a totally positive thing. Overall I thought you did a great job and your sources are really great! Just make sure to put the works cited in alphabetical order as well! i think only a few minor adjustments need to me made in your paper, and if they are made your paper will be even more awesome!- Olivia Miller
Danielle,
ReplyDeleteLet me start off by saying how much I enjoyed your topic. It was a really unique subject matter, and it brought a lot of awareness to the reader.
I really liked your intro. You added some personal experience, and you also said you began to rethink whether or not zoos were a good or bad thing. It shows you've been debating this topic, and it makes the readers who are on the opposing side more open to your opinion.
Also, I like some of the comparisons you made in your paper. For example, you said, "These amazingly intelligent animals are captured and put into tanks that would be proportional to a human living in a bathtub." I thought that was a really good comparison, and it gave us a visual of what it would be like for an animal.
The only thing I can see you adding is trying to connect your conclusion to your intro. In your intro you mention how when you were a kid you loved going to zoos and circuses. Maybe mention in your intro how much your opinion has changed. This could add to your paper.
Overall, your paper was strong, and you voiced your opinion extremely well. Good job!
-Kate
danielle,
ReplyDeletecompelling argument. i have a hard time qualifying this as a rogerian argument though. You presented your side of the argument extremely well and had sufficient research to back up your opinion. However, that was almost all that you did and you gave very little opportunity to the other side, making this extremely one sided. Also, while all of your statistics and PETA claims were very moving and convincing i felt that the majority of your essay was claims and statistics. I had no idea what you thought at all untill the very last paragraph. This is a 1200 word assignment and you explained what you thought needed to be done in less than 200 words. I think that even though your evidence is wonderfully placed you need ot insert YOUR opinion earlier in the assignment and spend more time talking about a compromise than you have so far.
Good Luck,
Tom
Dear, Danielle.
ReplyDeleteAs I said before, your topic is interesting. I really like your personal experience in the introduction. It is very good and can be the good beginning about your paper. You have specific sources and those are good to support your arguments. Except the introduction, you add your personal experience in other paragraph too. It is also great. Using personal experiences are really good to think about that this topic is really close to my lives.
I want to suggest a few things. You have really good paper. However, I want to see other opinions about this topic. You used many sources to support your arguments. However, I suggest add some more information about opposite side of opinions. Of course, you have good information about the sides, but I want to listen to more opinions.
Overall, you are really good job, and I enjoyed reading your paper.
From your essay, I could find my weakness too.
You helped me!
Thank you, Danielle.
Good Luck…
Minsun
Danielle,
ReplyDeleteI really liked your topic of your paper. I have a strong opinion about this topic but was able to relate to everything you said. I liked how you started your intro because it made me want to know more about this subject. There are a couple things i would suggest to try and make the paper a little stronger. I think that you should try and make your opinion stand out more because I was kinda confused on what you were trying to defend. I also think that there should be just a little more facts because I want to see some more statsitcs on this claim. The last thing I would do would be to try and make your paper smaller because there were so many ideas here that I kinda was confused because I felt like it was kinda unorganized. I think your paper was really good other than that. Good luck with your next draft.
Ashley
Hi Danielle!
ReplyDeleteThis is a really great topic that I enjoyed reading about. It was very different and interesting to learn about. I really liked the person stories you used and how passionate about animals you are. It really added to the paper, as well as the picture at beginning of the essay. But I do have a few concerns. I didnt really get a Rogerian feel from this essay. You are so passionate about the abuse of animals in this essay that I feel like you dont want to see the other side. So maybe put a story in about how trainers bonded with their animals. Just to see another point. Other than that I thought it was great!
Railey Hiser
Danielle,
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing this paper. I think your paper is very good. You have obviously done a lot of research and it shows. Your paper is really informative and the research is strong evidence of your claims. I think your examples like Tilikum and Clyde are great. Not only do they support your claim but they also provide great emotional appeal of the reader. I like how personable your introduction is, I think it will not only draw the reader in but also help the reader to feel more personally connected with the topic. Who doesn't like going to the circus or the aquarium?? My only suggestion is to show more understanding and information for the other side of the argument. While I do agree with you on the issue of animal captivity, I'm sure not everyone feels the same way. Other than that, I think you have a very good paper.
Good luck
Brooke
Danielle,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your paper. Animal cruelty is an important issue that needs to be addressed. I thought it was going to be difficult for you to find not necessarily good qualities in animal cruelty but a way to agree with it but you did. The using of the zoos was a great compromise. I suggest when revising this draft that you make more vivid images with your writing to express the extent of how bad and harmful animals are treated. I really like how you mentioned the whale in Sea world that killed its trainer that was interesting because it is recent and fresh on everyones mind. Also maybe expand a little more on the other side of abused animals. You did mention how you went to zoos and its good for informational purposes but you just merely touched on the subject go into detail about how students go on field trips and maybe find some pros online for why zoos can be better fit for an animal, granted they are not living in there respected habitats. I also feel like this essay is choppy considering you have 14 paragraphs. COnsider combining some paragraphs. Also in your conclusion relate back to how you loved visiting the zoo and going to the circus so you can get that vibe again. Your sources are good but for your final draft find sources that benefit the other side of animal cruelty. Find sources on the zoo and how they take care of the animals and find sources on the circus and show how they are mis treated and trained. Good luck with your revisions.
Lauren
Hey Danielle,
ReplyDeleteWow, what a great second draft. I loved that you incorporated so much of your childhood into this paper, and continuously went back to how you felt and how the circus left an impression on you from such a young age. The memories you shared were awesome and fit perfectly with the feelings you were expressing in your essay. One of the biggest things I noticed that may need a little work is your transitions. I found myself reading and not knowing exactly what you were trying to say because I had no basis for why you were going to discuss that. You sort of jumped right in throughout paragraphs. So maybe if you introduce or conclude what you're saying, it may flow better. The wording in your 5th paragraph also was a little awkward. It was probably just me, but I was confused with the whole second trainer, third fatal attack, yet first murder...? I'm just not sure what you're trying to say, but again, it's probably just me. You use such solid sources and your integration of them is done beautifully. I'm very impressed by the quotes and sources you found that demonstrate exactly what you need. I didn't really notice a Rogerian voice until the last paragraph though, so maybe consider throwing that in a little sooner, because I think part of this assignment is to show that throughout the process we are understanding the opposing view and doing so gently, and I think you did that very well at the end, but if it's possible, mention it sooner. You have such a strong paper...I can't wait to see your final draft. Nicely done, Danielle!!
Sincerely, Katie
This is very interesting argument because the topic is very unique. I liked your voice in this essay and your stories from your own childhood. You had great sources which really added to your essay. I would say that you should try to make your argument a little clearer throughout your paper and add some common ground. You should also work more on making this fit a rogerian argument by tweaking your vocabulary.
ReplyDeleteDear Danielle,
ReplyDeleteFrom your pretty good first draft, I felt your draft got even better. I thought the connections you made and the logic you added to this draft was good. Another thing I liked about your paper was your use of personal stories and personal ideas. I feel that is very common with all the papers I have read, and if everyone is doing it, it must be a good thing to do. I didn’t see many things I disliked about the paper, but I saw a couple I wanted to point out to make your final draft amazing. First of all, I feel you need more opinion. I feel you have a decent amount, but I just feel I would like to see a couple more “I feel” or your own view. Just maybe a little more would convince me your paper has enough opinion for my taste. My other concern was about the other side. I feel I just didn’t get a hint of the other side. Maybe I mis read a couple of the other sides points, but I feel you need to add a couple more ideas and facts about the other side to make this a rogerian argument. Other than that, I feel your paper is pretty much solid. I hope these comments help you on your final draft. I still feel that picture is so right for this argument. Good luck!
Bryan Vu
Danielle, a great improvement over your last draft. your choice to "victimize" circuses while applauding zoos and aquariums provided the much needed middle ground the first draft lacked.
ReplyDeleteHowever, there are still some sections where your views on the subject contradict each other.
the addition of the third paragraph, praising the educational benefits of zoo's, and the inability for the common person to see animals in their natural habitat goes a long way in strengthening your argument, (if you are trying to make it) that zoo's are a necessary institution. However the (7th?) paragraph, in particular "Many zoos and aquariums shouldn’t be applauded for teaching about wild animals" negates that first statement. In my opinion, that sentence, (criticizing zoo's) should be taken out or toned down.
Also, you claimed books were not the best way to learn about animals, however you favor the internet. Personally i think these, both being indirect sources, should be considered in nearly the same educational value. Again, you should choose to resolve this.
But, these are minor points, I nitpick because on the large scale, there is nothing drastically wrong or flawed, your argument is well constructed, and your paper, well written. Best of luck with the third draft.
-Neal
Dear Danielle,
ReplyDeleteI personally really like your topic. I do agree that there are many cruelties and unethical practices in terms of training the animals. I like how you incorporated your personal experinces and how you realized the reality of zoos and circuse. One grammatical suggestion I want to make is that on 3rd paragraph when you said "Only a select few children are privileged enough to actually go scuba diving or on an African Safari, zoos and aquariums provide easy access for everyone to witness these amazing animals". I think since you have two different ideas here, instead of using a comma you should use a semicolon. Another suggestion I want to make is that maybe acknowledging the other side more will be good. For example, you can say that some zoos actually take care of their animals well and how some trainers think of their animlas as their children. I hope my suggestions help! Good luck on you final!!!
Sora Shin